Strange Sounds Echoing From Locker Room

A great big piggy, wiggy good morning to you all. This is Ms Ernestine reporting to you about a very strange sound that was heard coming from the Madmen's locker room late last night. I was there, and I, along with others, not only heard those strange sounds, but I also investigated as to what was making those sounds.

I was covering the game between George's Gorilla's, and Missy's Madmen last night. Each team had one player left to play on Monday Night Football with the Gorilla's leading by only 4 points going into the game. The Madmen had Hines Ward, a WR for the Steeler's, and the Gorilla's had the Steeler's Defense. This was going to be a crucial game for both teams so I decided to cover the event myself.

The Madmen were already an unstable bunch at the beginning of the season, but it seemed with each loss they suffered as the season went on, the team really went completely over the edge. The game in week 9 was a must win for the Madmen. The owner is the top "Nut Hut" case out of the entire gang, and as I spoke to her yesterday, I could tell she was on the verge of going over the edge. You see, not one member of that team, including the owner, takes any kind of medication. I mean, with the name of your team being Missy's Madmen, what do you expect?

Things didn't turn out well for the Madmen last night. The Steeler's Defense racked up 46 points for the Gorilla's while Hines Ward only contributed 6 to the Madmen. The final score was 156 to 112. The Gorilla's stopped their three game losing streak, and stayed in a tie with the Shaker's for first place. The Madmen's loss put the team at 3-6 which could almost eliminate them from a playoff spot.

The loss to the Gorilla's triggered something in the heads of the Madmen last night. As I was leaving the Gorilla's locker room after interviewing Coach Whitey I decided to stop by the Madmen's locker room. Perhaps someone on the team would answer some questions that I had. Maybe I could speak to the owner again, and find out what went wrong with the team.

The sounds that were coming out of that room caused me to stop dead in my tracks. The tiny hairs on my big body stood on edge as I heard the most frightening sounds of my life. I literally began to shake, and when this big girl begins to shake, I make things around me shake too. The people around me were shaking from fright, and I was adding to their shaking, because I was shaking. The hair on the human's heads was standing straight up.

Finally I gathered myself, and approached the door. The terrible sounds were deafening so no one heard the door of the locker room open with a squeak. I stepped inside, and if the noise wasn't terrifying enough, the sight of total chaos threw me for a loop. The Madmen, being led by their owner were hanging upside down from the big pipes that went through the locker room. Hanging by their feet, making these terrible sounds, and screeching a the top of their lungs. Then they began to laugh hysterically while hanging up there. It was a mad laugh if there is such a thing. All the time they were hanging up there laughing, and screeching they were trying to dance. Have you ever tried to dance while you were upside down?

I then begin to piece together what this crazy bunch was doing. With all the sounds of screeching, and mad laughter I never focused in on the music they were playing. It all fell in place once I put it all together. The music was blasting out with the song, "Run Through the Jungle," and these Madmen were trying to imitate George's Gorilla's. They were scratching their pits while hanging upside down, making awful sounds, while all the time trying to be gorilla's. What?

I was so caught up in what I was seeing that I hadn't noticed that Coach Whitey, and the whole gorilla team had entered the room along with many people. The Madmen come down from the pipes, and the owner of the team began to lead them in doing the "Gorilla Shuffle." Now, I tell you that girl can dance, and so can the rest of those Madmen. They had the shuffle down to a tee, and all the time they were doing the "Gorilla Shuffle" they were doing the "Gorilla Grunt." When the real Gorilla's saw that, they joined right in with the Madmen. This was all too much for me so I quietly slipped out the door, and went home. I guess the Madmen just went over the edge last night, and they figured that if you can't beat them, then you must join them. I'm telling you that this bunch that makes up the Crumbpacker's Fantasy Football League is a wired up bunch of people.

By the way, Harvey was no where to be found. Congratulations on winning your award Harvey. You really desrved it!