Lion's Hold Off Charge

Jefferys' Lion's held off a Redskin charge to advance to the 2nd round of the playoffs. I really didn't think that the Lion's could hold out, but they did. The final score was 113 to 108.

Jeff's Redskin's just didn't have what it takes to put the Lion's away last night. They must have run out of arrows, and tomahawks in making the last charge. The Redskin's horses must have given out, because at the end of the game, the Redskin's were seen running off over the hill on foot. Now the Redskin's can return to their teepees for a long winter's nap. 

It looks like the Lion's are going to square off against Nan's Nimrods in round 2. Gertrude Doflicky has those Lion's in her sights, and her team will be ready to play. Don't forget that the Nimrods are the Div.1 Champs, so the Lion's are going to have to claw their way through this upcoming game. I, Ms Ernestine, congratulate the Lion's for holding on, and defeating the Redskin's. A job well done.

The Gorilla's will have to face the Booty Shaker's in round 2, and it looks as if the Gorilla's will have their hands full. Coach Whitey is going over his game plan as we speak. The Gorilla's are going to need a little luck in this one, but someone said Harvey will be on the sidelines for the game. That should boost the Gorilla's in a big way. 

Pop Pop has informed us that he will have Harvey back here at headquarter's any day now. They ran into a slight problem when Pop Pop arrived to meet with Nosy the Bloodhound, and "Frankie the Mouse." All of that news will be coming to you later so stay tuned.

Thanks again for stopping by "The Espenblog Times," and we want you to leave your comments. Take a second, and become a subscriber to this crazy broadcast. It doesn't cost you a dime, and it doesn't even hurt. Besides, we want you to become as crazy as the rest of us. Bring your imagination, and join us here at "The Espenblog Times."   

Shaker's Advance, Rejects Out

For the second week in a row the Booty Shaker's have beaten the Delaware Rejects, but this time the Shaker's ended the Rejects season. The Rejects go home, while the Shaker's move onto Round 2 in the playoffs.

The Booty Shaker's took the lead, and never looked back. The question is, can the Shaker's continue at this pace through the second round? Now the Shaker's will matchup with either the Gorilla's, or the Nimrods in the next round. Which ever team the Shaker's have to play, it's going to depend on a lot of factors to get a win. Coach Whitey said, "When you get to this part of the season, you need a little luck on your side to get you through."

The Shaker's have been a high scoring team as of late, and out of the four teams that played this weekend, they seem to be the team to beat, but that can all change in a heartbeat. Players get hurt, defences stop your runnning, and passing games, or your defence falls apart. I guess that's what makes the entire season so exciting. You prepare for the best, but sometimes the best isn't good enough. Moon rocks fall from the sky, and hit you upside the head.

The Shaker's are to be congratulated for their victory over the Rejects. They were celebrating by shaking booties all over the place last night. I hope no one got hurt by all that motion. The final score was Shaker's 168, Rejects 131.

The game between Jeff's Redskin's, and Jeffery's Lion's is still up for grabs. The score stands at Lions 112, the Redskin's 98. The Lion's have played all of their players, but the Redskin's have one left to play tonight. Having one of the best running backs in the NFL playing tonight makes the chances of the Redskin's even better. If Cleveland can shut down the Eagle's running game the Lion's may have a chance to hang on, but I doubt if the Brownies can stop Brian Westbrooke.

The Lions' Cheerleader's are standing tall, rooting for their team. Jeffery, the owner, is still hoping that his Lion's can hold off the last charge of the Redskin's. In case you don't know, this playoff game is being played by father, and son. Whichever way this turns out it won't be over. Those two will be talking smack from now until next season, and then it will start all over again. Mom is the owner of Missy's Madmen, and you all know she is a loon. How would you like to live in that household with those football nut's? I sure am glad they all love one another. May the best team win, but it's never over! 

This Crumbpacker's Fantasy Football League is going into the semi-finals, and it's anyone's guess who will win the championship. I'll keep you posted as to what's happening so keep coming back to "The Espenblog Times."

Crumbpacker's League Playoffs Have Begun

The games have started, and by tonight we will all know who advances to round 2. The Gorilla's, and the Nimrods have a bye this week, but the Redskin's, and the Lion's are fighting it out right now. As of this writing Jefferys' Lion's were beating Jeff's Redskin's by the score of 82 to 54. The Lion's are hot right now, but the Redskin's keep charging. I look for this one to be pretty close, but anything can happen in the playoffs.

The other game being played now is the Shaker's and the Rejects. Although the Shaker's are leading by the score of 96 to 41, the Rejects have plenty of players playing in the late games. This one too will probably be very close.

Only two of these teams will advance, and the winner's will play the Gorilla's, and the Nimrods to decide who will go to the Super Bowl. Nerves are on edge around here this afternoon, smack talk is flowing, and eyes are glued to the TV, and the computer. I'll keep you posted throughout the day! 

Owner Flies Off the Handle

As I was reporting the playoff situation in the Crumbpacker's Fantasy Football League in yesterday's article, I knew I would be hearing from a certain owner before the day was over. None other than the owner of Missy's Madmen called me just before noon. She was livid!

Now you need to remember that this girl owns the Madmen. Just the name of the team itself should tell you that her basket isn't quite full. I still believe that her, and her team needs medication, but that's just my opinion. I'll just throw this in as a side note, but all the other owner's in the league thinks the same thing. I have to give her credit, she is quite passionate about her fantasy football.

My phone rings, and she starts on me. "Why do you say I'm out of the running for the playoffs?" I tried to respond, but she cut me off by saying, "I am going to the playoffs regardless of what you say." She had to catch her breath so I jumped right in. "I'm sure you are going to the playoffs, but not as a team. You are going as a spectator."

Oh boy! That was definitely the wrong thing to say. Off she went again blaming me for picking on her. Telling me that I was rooting for everyone else in the league but her. She then explained to me that she could still make the playoffs if several things would happen. If the Redskin's, the Shaker's, and the Rascal's all lost this week, and she won, she would be in. That would put all those teams, including her's, at 6-8. She would then gain the sixth spot because she would have the most points scored out of all those other 6-8 teams.

You know what? She's absolutely right, and in looking over the matchups for this final week, she just might pull it off. It has to go down exactly the way she stated it though. If any of those teams win, she's toast. I must admit, she's a fiesty gal. As I listened to her I couldn't help but laugh. That was another bad thing to do. She heard me laughing

Off she went again. She said, "Ms Ernestine, I hear you laughing at me, and I'm only going to tell you this one time. I am sharpening my stick as we speak, and I am going to use my stick to hang you over the fire, and roast your butt for my Christmas dinner." Ouch! That's four times she has told me that now. I tried to explain to her that I wasn't laughing at her, I was laughing with her. She replied in a very cold, deep voice, "I wasn't laughing," and with that she hung up.

Oh this Crumbpacker's bunch is something. I sure am glad that they love each other, because it would really be ugly if they didn't. The guys, and girls in this league really play rough. I will say this to Missy, the owner of Missy's Madmen: It would be nice to see it go down the way you described it, and I, Ms Ernestine, truly wishes you luck in this final game of the season, but I still believe that you, and your team needs some sort of medication. You, and yours are just to rung up!

This picture says it all. I believe your screws are too tight. Please have them checked out.

Madmen Score 209 Points Against Gorilla's

Missy's Madmen were just too much to handle for the Gorilla's yesterday. Coach Whitey said, "There wasn't a team in the Crumbpacker's Fantasy Football League that could have beaten that crazy bunch yesterday. The Madmen not only beat us like they owned us, but they set a new scoring record in the league. It was impossible to stop them."

The Madmen were on a 4 game skid, and in the cellar in Division 2. After their fourth straight loss last week, the owner said "We are going to win our last 3 games, and make the playoffs." Of course no one pays the owner of the Madmen much attention when she spouts off, because everyone knows she needs a high dosage of medication for her condition, which she doen't take. Between her, and Gertrude Doflicky, the owner of Nan's Nimrods, I don't know which one is the worse off.

"I'm not sure if she will make the playoffs, but if she said she will, we just let her talk," said the owner of Lori's Little Rascal's. She continued, "The other owner's just stay out of her way when she get's like this." Today she is probably flying high with her victory over the Gorilla's. I have no doubt that she will be calling me today to tell me her plans for winning the championship. I'll take her call, write down what she says, and even write the next article about her plans of becoming the 2008 Champion of the Crumbpacker's Fantasy Football League. I'll report what she has to say, even though the owner of Missy's Madmen has told me that she's going to put me, Ms Ernestine, on a stick, and roast me over a fire for Christmas.

I already have enough to worry about with Harvey's disappearance. Now I have to keep looking over my shoulder to see if that crazy lady is sneaking up behind me with a stick. I'm trying to keep my fat out of the fire. Oh well, this is Ms Ernestine saying goodbye for now, but I won't be gone for long. 

Bulletin

In order to keep our page from being to cluttered we send articles to the archive every so often. You'll find the archives on the right hand side; check it out while you are here!

Teams & Logo's from The Crumbpacker's League

Please note that two of the teams, Greer's Booty Shaker's, and the Delaware Rejects either have no logo at all as of yet, or their logo cannot be copied, and carried over to Ms Ernesetin's Report. We are trying to contact the two teams to correct this problem so we can showcase their logos.

"Oh What a Night"

It was a night that will be long remembered in this town. The event that took place on the Boondocker's property will probably put this little town of Williamsburg, Pennsylvania on the map, and it's all because of Harvey. He's only been here for about 16 days or so, but so much as happened since his arrival. God only knows what will happen as Harvey spends more time here writing his articles. It's been one thing after another, but one thing for sure, Harvey has been a hugh hit.

Multitudes of people, and creatures from near, and far flocked into this place last night to witness the fight between Roscoe the Rooster, and Harvey. Crowd control was a major concern, but I was amazed how well behaved everyone was. The property is large, but it couldn't hold all those in attendance. The adjoining fields were packed out with onlookers. They were in the trees, on top of their vehicles, and anywhere else they could find a place to see this spectacle. When Harvey climbed into that ring, and was introduced to the crowd, they went nuts. Their thunderous roars were almost as shocking as the hugh explosion that took place yesterday morning.

After all that has happened to Harvey, he looked well. He was smiling from ear to ear, loving all this attention, and adoration. Harvey was ready! Roscoe didn't look so well when he climbed into the ring. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here. I don't think he was expecting this event to take place. Betty Jo Boondocker didn't look well either as she entered the ring with Roscoe. I'm sure we'll find out later what was going on with her, and the rooster.

The two met in the center of the ring with the referee. When the instructions were given, and the ref told them to shake hands, and come out fighting, I swear that the rooster's legs buckled, and Betty Jo looked like she was going to faint. It was to late now, this was going to happen.

The bell rang, out came Harvey dancing, bobbing, and weaving. Roscoe half walked, half stumbled into the center of the ring. He wasn't strutting now, he was looking for a place to hide. Harvey was on that rooster like a duck on a bug. The crowd went ballistic as Harvey threw punches like a well oiled machine. Roscoe tried to run, but Harvey pinned him against the ropes. You could tell that Harvey was on a mission.

I glanced over at Betty Jo to see what her reaction was. Jimbo Boondocker had set her on a stool, and was fanning her. She wasn't taking this very well at all. The hornblower, Roscoe's buddy, had already passed out at ringside, although no one around was concerned. All eyes were on Harvey. How the rooster survived the first round is beyound me. Roscoe's crown had been hammered on, his beak had been punched in, and his feathers were all over the ring. Either the ref would stop this fight, or Roscoe's corner would be throwing the towel in. Neither one of those things happened.

Round two started with the rooster staggering into the center of the ring. Harvey was already there, and picked up where he had left off, right on the end of the rooster's beak. Harvey was going to end this thing right here, right now. With one quick, hard right to Roscoe's body, the remaining feathers flew off, and the rooster with the red boxing gloves crumbled. It was over, Harvey was the winner. Camera's flashed as the referee raised Harvey's arm into the air. "Run Through the Jungle" rang out through the night. This was going to a celebration of all celebrations.

Georges' Gorilla's Fantasy football Team lifted Harvey into the air while the crowd was chanting, HAR-VEY, HAR-VEY, HAR-VEY. Coach Whitey was grinning from ear to ear, and Me Too Piggy was going nuts. The entire staff of "The Espenblog Times" were in the ring with Harvey. I'm sure Nick, and Mick will have a report on the post fight festivities.

No monkeys were injured in this contest. One rooster was knocked senseless, but is expected to make a full recovery. One rooster, the Hornblower, just plain passed out, he'll recover also. "Oh What a Night."

Gorilla's Hold on to Win Championship

It was a long, nerve-racking day for Nan's Nimrods, and George's Gorilla's. The best of the best squared off in one of the most exciting championship games of the Crumbpacker's Fantasy Football League history. The champion wasn't crowned until the last play of Sunday night's game.

When the curtain came down, and the dust finally settled, there stood the Gorilla's holding their heads high, and giving off a sigh of relief. With the trophy in hand they paraded around the field giving their avid fan's high fives, while at the same time doing the "Gorilla Shuffle," and grunting the "Gorilla Grunt." All the Gorilla fan's were celebrating right along with the team. Animals, and humans getting down with the "Gorilla Shuffle," and doing the "Gorilla Grunt." Even I myself, Ms Ernestine, was "gettin down" with the fan's, and the big boys. As far as I know, they are still celebrating as I write this article.

Harvey, the GM of the team was brought from his hut with 2 minutes left in the game. At the sound of the gun Harvey went wild. Still wrapped in his bandages, and splints, he jumped, and screamed like a monkey that was on fire. It was a sight to behold as the Gorilla's celebrated their victory.

Coach Whitey, and Pop Pop were jumping, and hollering like two little school kids in an ice cream factory. After the two got themselves somewhat together they approached Gertrude Doflicky with outstretched hands where to my surprise, Gertrude laid her shotgun to the side, and embraced both Coach Whitey, and Pop Pop. Gertrude, and all the Nimrods congratulated the whole Gorilla Team with handshakes, and hugs. I never thought that Gertrude Doflicky had a heart until last night.

Gertrude said, "This was a hard fought game, and the Gorilla's came out on top. This team is truely the Champions of the Crumbpacker's Fantasy Football League. We gave it our best shot, but in the end we came up short. We'll be back next season." With that she picked up her shotgun, waved to the crowd, and walked off the field. The crowd gave her a standing ovation.

Coach Whitey said, "After 16 games I'm glad it's over. I don't think I could go through another game like this one. The Nimrods battled us all the way, and this game could have went either way. I sure am glad that time ran out."

The other teams in the league are already getting mentally prepared for next season. I'm sure each, and everyone of them are writing down their wish list for next season. I'm going to interview each owner, and get their thoughts on this years play, and their future plans. It should be interesting to hear what they have to say.

To the Gorilla's: You have fought through adversity all year long, and when it counted the most, you came through. Congratulations on winning the 2008 Crumbpacker's Fantasy Football League Championship. It was truely a great game.

Final score; Gorilla's 134, Nimrods 124

Nimrods Favored to Win Championship

The day of the big game is finally here. This is the day that the Gorilla's will faceoff against the Nimrods for the 2008 Crumbpacker's Fantasy Football League Championship. By the time the last game is played tonight we will have a champion.

Gertrude Doflicky has been talking smack to Pop Pop all week long. This is Gertrude's second trip to the Championship Game, and she wants this one to count. Gertrude was beaten by Missy's Madmen two years ago in the big game, and she is determined to come away with the trophy this time. I'm afraid she might go over the edge if she loses this one. She has held several closed door meetings this week probably threatening her team with physical damage if they don't win.

The Gorilla's on the other hand have been low keyed, and somewhat laid back. Coach Whitey has insisted that Harvey stays at his hut, and away from the team. Any contact between the two has been done over the phone. Whitey has also enforced a "no writing period" issued by Pop Pop to Harvey. Harvey can only write after the big game is over. I can see that neither Pop Pop, Whitey, or the team believes that Harvey is their lucky charm. Pop Pop has said, "We'll just keep Harvey under lock, and key until this thing is over. If we win, it will be the results of the coach, and the team, not because Harvey was on the sidelines.

This is going to be a fantastic game. Both teams have their lineups set, and are waiting for 1:00 p.m. The crowds are gathering, the team colors are flying, and the fan's are jawing at one another already. In the locker rooms the player's are watching TV, working on their computers, reading, and listening to music. The stage is set for the final game of the season between two teams that have fought their way to the top. Only one will emerge the champion. The other one will go home where every other team is. I don't think I'll try to pick a winner for this game. This time I'm going to sit back, and enjoy the fireworks.

Nimrods, Gorilla's in Championship Game

Nan's Nimrods will square off against George's Gorilla's in the 2008 Crumbpacker's Fantasy Football League Championship Game later on this week.

The Nimrods held off the Lion's, and the Gorilla's defeated the Shaker's to get to the big game. The final score was Nimrods 152, Jefferys' Lion's 123. The Gorilla's beat the Shaker's by the score of 157 to 118. Congratulations to Gertrude Doflicky, and Pop Pop on a job well done.

This will be the Mom Mom, Pop Pop Bowl. Since these two have been married for over 40 years, it will be interesting to see if their marriage will survive after this game. Pop Pop has already said, "If she leaves me, I'm going with her." This is going to be interesting.

I watched as Mom Mom, and Pop Pop set at the kitchen table this morning. There was an air of tension surrounding the two as they discussed the upcoming game. The conversation started out alright, but as time went on they were both telling each other what the one was going to do to the other.

Mom Mom, known as Gertrude Doflicky, said that she was going to lay out Gorilla's all over the field. Pop Pop countered by telling Gertrude that the Gorilla's were going to feed her Nimrods to the pigs at her pig farm. The Gorilla's would tear the Nimrods up in little pieces, and throw them in the feed trough. To think that this is only Tuesday.

I think that Pop Pop should be very careful of what he says lest Gertrude levels that shotgun at him. Remember, she held her team hostage in the locker room early in the season when they lost a game. Imagine what she's capable of in a big game like this. Maybe Pop Pop should go stay with the team until this thing is finally over. If Mom Mom wins, he can come back right away, but if the Gorilla's win it might be safe to come back home sometime in June or July.

I'll keep you posted on how things are going at Mom Mom, and Pop Pop's house this week. Even though Christmas is only two days away, neither one of them will be merry. Mom Mom said, "Bring it on big boy. Give it your best shot, because you only get one. Gertrude, and the Nimrods will be eating Gorilla Burger's when this is all over." I saw Pop Pop walk away chuckling to himself. Pop's can't say too much, Mom Mom won't feed him.

Excitement Riding High

Round 2 has started for the Crumbpacker's Fantasy Football League, and the tension is so thick you can cut it with a knife. The two winner's of this weekend's playoff games will face off next week for the 2008 Championship. With games having been played both Thursday night, and Saturday night 3 of the 4 teams have points on the board.

Going into today's games the Nimrods are leading the Lion's 15-0, and the Shaker's are up on the Gorilla's by the score of 43-7. For the first time in this league's history, no one is talking smack. It seems as if each team is concentrating on their lineups. This is for all the marbles, and picking the correct lineup is so important. Even when you think you have it right, something could go wrong.

That's what the Gorilla's are hoping for when it comes to the Booty Shaker's. The Shaker's have a stacked lineup, and if the Gorilla's are going to win this game, they need a real dose of luck to fall down upon them. The Gorilla's running backs are banged up, and they won't know which ones to play until gametime. Even then they don't know what might happen as the game goes a long. One, or both running backs could get hurt, and out they go. Coach Whitey is a nervous wreck this morning to say the least.

To give you an example of how this works, Coach Whitey didn't play Mason, a wide receiver for the Ravens last night. Whitey figured with Dallas playing at home, and having a decent defence the Cowboys would probably shut Mason down. Also, take in to consideration the fact that Mason is so banged up with his back, and shoulder that he struggles to get back on his feet everytime he gets hit. Whitey decided to keep him out of the lineup for those reasons, and lo, and behold, he ends up producing 18 points. That's the way things can go for you, and this is the only shot you have left to get to the 2008 Championship Game next week.

The Nimrods, and the Lion's are pretty evenly matched up, although I give a slight edge to the Nimrods. One thing for sure, Gertrude's team will come out with shotguns leveled, and the Lion's will hit the field roaring. This one is going to be interesting. 

Now that Harvey is back, although he sure is a mess, the Gorilla's are inspired. They are going to need more than inspiration, they are going to need points, and lots of them to beat the Booty Shaker's. It's only a matter of time until we all know who is going to the 2008 Crumbpacker's Fantasy Football League Championship Game next week.

I'll have some things to say about Harvey's return in my other section entitled, "Ms Ernestine Rants."

Upsets in Week 7

Things are changing in The Crumbpacker's Fantasy Football League. Four of the five winning teams demolished their opponents this week. The only close game was between the Rejects, and the Lion's with the Rejects coming out on top by the score of 140-137.

The rest of the loser's were tossed around like rag dolls in a play room. The Shaker's beat the Gorilla's by 31 points, Mike's Nuckingfutjobies destroyed the Camp Rocker's by the score of 148-106, the Madmen went berserk ove the Rascal's 122-82, and Gertrude Doflicky, with her Nimrods shot down the Redskin's by the score of 111-74.

Lori's Little Rascal's, and George's Gorilla's are on a two game losing streak, and neither one is looking to good going into next week. Greer's Booty Shaker's have put on a surge these last few weeks, and are now tied for first place with the Gorilla's in Division 2.

Mike's Nuckingfutjobies are standing alone in first place over in Division 1, but Gertrude Doflicky's Nimrods are coming on strong. Her team hasn't lost since she leveled her shotgun at them in the locker room three weeks ago. She must have struck some fear in their hearts, because they have been moving up in the standings ever since.

Four of the five teams are going to the woodshed this morning. There will be a whole lot shaking going on in the old shed today. The Gorilla's, and the Rascal's are making their second trip to the shed in as many weeks. I sure am glad I'm not in their shoes.

PopPop ran a poll in the "Espenblog" section with the question being: Do You Play Fantasy Football? The results ended looking like this: 70% do play, 10% don't play, and 20% don't care to play.

I would bet that the 70% that plays this fantasy football are just about as crazy as this bunch in the Crumpacker's League.

I, Ms Ernestine, being the sports nut that I am, hope you all are having fun this season. Remember, it's just a game. Don't have a 19th nervous breakdown over it. You could end up like Harvey, the GM of the Gorilla's, and you wouldn't want that to happen. Relax, take a deep breath, and enjoy the season.

Thanks for stopping by, and my new section will be going up in the next day or two. The votes are in, and my new section will be entitled, "Ms Ernestine Rants." Now I can let my hair down, and share so many other things with you all. My friend Fluffy who writes, "Fluff's Corner" will be writing some articles with me. She's such a talented writer, and we have a kindred spirit.

Ms Ernestine Has Sit Down With Nimrod's Owner

Ms Ernestine bids you all a good morning, and do I have some juicy morsels to throw at you today. For weeks now I have been trying to get an interview with that strange owner of Nan's Nimrod's, and yesterday I finally got lucky.

I have been asking every one around here about this person, but they have all, including Fluffy, been reluctant to give up any information. The writer's, and the staff would talk about everything else, but when it came to her they clammed up. I thought that was rather strange so I took it upon myself to pay her a visit, and what a visit it was.

Now, you all need to keep in mind that I have traveled the world over. I have covered events, and happenings that sometimes put my piggy self in danger. I have lived on the edge, and it's the sometime danger that gets my blood to pumping. I've been shot at by pouchers, I've had to literally fight my way out of some situations, (I'm a big girl, and I know how to handle myself quite well) I was captured by cannibals in a far away land, but when they found out I wasn't human they turned me loose, and I've stood face to face with some of the most meanest creatures, and human's on this planet, but what I experienced yesterday afternoon far outmatched any of those events.

I found her place out in the middle of nowhere. An old clapboard, run down house with no electricity, no running water, and no other human beings around. I found her place by sniffing around. I would know that smell anywhere, and I saw her long before she realized that I was in the area. Now I knew why no one would give up any information about her to me. She run a pig farm, and a big one at that.

Sadness filled my heart at the sight of so many relatives living like pigs. I saw the boiling pots of water, hams hanging on hooks that were drying out, sausages being smoked, and bacon being wrapped up to be put into the cooling cellar. My eyes welled up with tears, but I had to continue on. I had to put my own feelings to the side, and complete my mission no matter how much it may hurt.

It was as if she had eyes in the back of her head. All a sudden she wheeled around, and leveled that shotgun of her's right at me. A lumped formed in my throat, and I broke out into a sweat. With a very gruff voice she said, "What are you doing snooping around here?" I was startled not only by the fact that she surprised me, but by the way she looked at me. It was if she pictured me in her mind as a big ham hanging from one of those hooks.

I gathered myself quickly, and told her I wanted to interview her about her team. She took a long time to answer, and when she did her reply sent shivers all the way down to the end of my tail. She said, "If you don't write nice things about me, I will make sure you end up on someone's dinner table." I told her I would only write the facts, nothing more, nothing less.

As we walked to the house I gave my relatives a little wink, and a smile. Although I was dressed up, that's not a good term to use is it? Well anyhow, they knew I was one of them.

Once inside we got down to business. Do you know that her name is Gertrude? Yep, Gertrude Doflicky. That's her real name for sure.

I felt uncomfortable while we were talking, because she insisted that she had to fry up some sausage, and bacon in her skillet. Oh boy, just what I needed to see, and hear. She seemed to take great pleasure in doing that in front of me. I tell you, this woman is out there somewhere. In fact she is beyond somewhere. She lives in a world where no one else would want to go. It was her eyes that drove me nuts. The way she looked at that frying sausage, and bacon, and would then look at me. She wanted me in that skillet in the worse way, and she was willing to kill for it.

Outside of getting her name, I never did get to ask any questions about her team. I figured I better get out of there while the getting was good. She made my skin crawl by the way she cut up that bacon, and threw it into the skillet.

Maybe someday I can get the answers about her team when there are other people around, if you know what I mean.

Hey, subscribe to this here publication. Just hit the subscribe button at the top of the page. We want you to be as crazy as we are here at "The Espenblog Times." Until next time, this is Ms Ernestine saying, Cya Later.

Log Jam Still in Place After Week 8

Now we have a three way tie for first place in both Division 1, and Division 2. After 8 weeks the log jam is still in place. Week 9 should loosen things up though, because all teams will be playing in their divsions. We'll have to wait to see what happens.

Wow, did you see the final score of that Reject, Madmen game. Rejects 170, Madmen 100. Oh boy! That had to hurt, and it left a mark too. The Madmen's record is now 3-5.

How about those Camp Rocker's? They took Jeff'e Redskin's apart in week 8. Threw them under the bus, run over them, backed over them, run over them agin, and drove away. Ms Ernestine tips her hat to the Rocker's for a job well done.

Lori's Little Rascal's skunked the Shakers, 150-104. The Lion's squeaked one out over the Nuckingfutjobies by the score of 135-125, and the Nimrods put one on the Gorilla's with the score being 138-115. I bet Harvey is fit to be tied. Oh, I shouldn't have used that word tied when it comes to Harvey.

Speaking of Harvey, didn't our in house artist do a fantastic job with his drawing of Harvey upside down on the crossbar? I'll just bet you that Harvey is going to have something to say about that drawing being all over the place on "The Espenblog Times."

Well everyone, thanks for stopping by. Don't forget that the "Ms Ernestine Rants" section will be starting in a few days. I'll have some more friends to introduce to you then. For now this is Ms Ernestine saying, "I'll go now, but I won't be gone long."

Madmen Getting Trounced

Week 8 has not been good for the Madmen to say the least. Missy's Madmen are taking a thumping going into Monday night's game. There is a 98 point difference between the Madmen, and the Rejects at the end of Sunday's games. The current score is Madmen 72, the Rejects 170. The Madmen have only one player left to play Monday night, and that's a WR for the Colts. It looks like the Madmen are toast again.

I contacted the owner of Missy's Madmen last night to get a feel of how she was coping with the hugh point difference. Boy, did I ever get an earful from that "Nut Case." She had nothing good to say about the Rejects, and she was ready to fire her whole team. She sure was in a foul mood.

I tried to calm her down with soothing words, but that only made things worse. She told me that if she could get a hold of me she would hang me on a hook, and slice big slabs of bacon off my butt. I'm glad we are separated by 600 miles, because I believed her. I think she needs to take some kind of medication to calm herself down.

It looks like another trip to the woodshed for the Madmen again this week. Last week when they came out of the shed they all had splinters from being drug across the floor. It looks like it will be more of the same this week. Have a nice trip to the shed Missy.

This article has been posted on Oct 27th. As of this posting the Rejects are safe, and sound. Well, as sound as they possibly can be, if you get my drift.

UPDATE: The final score was Rejects 170, Madmen 100. That's going to leave a mark!

Results of Poll

Here are the results of the poll we were taking pertaining to the disappearance of Harvey. 25% said Harvey had been kidnapped. 25% said he was in a zoo. 25% said he was visiting relatives, 25% suggested that Harvey had been taken to an experimental lab.

Well, here's the results: Harvey had been kidnapped, and was going to be sold to an experimental lab. Due to the pressure that "Nosy the Bloodhound," and "Frankie the Mouse" put on his captors, they decided that it would be best to eliminate Harvey once, and for all. They figured no Harvey, no problem.

The account of Harvey's ordeal will be written about by Pop Pop, Fluffy, Ms Ernestine, and even Harvey himself. Of course Harvey's version is going to be somewhat different from the actual account, but then again, we're talking about Harvey.

Thanks to all those who voted, and thanks for stopping by!

Me Too Piggy Picks for 2nd Rd. Playoff Games

I started pickng the games in week 4, and my results were terrible. I ended up with only 22 right picks, and 33 wrong picks. I don't think I did very well. What do you think?

Both of my picks for the 1st round were right. The Lion's defeated the Redskins, and the Shaker's sent the Rejects home.

Here's my picks for the 2nd round playoff games which started on Thursday night for some of the teams:

I pick the Nimrods to take down the Lion's.

Greer's Booty Shaker's will defeat George's Gorilla's, and send the Gorilla's back to the jungle.

Me Too Piggy

Crumbpacker's League Standings as of Week 14

Division 1

Nan's Nimrods     9-5

Delaware Rejects   9-5

Jeffery's Lion's   7-7

Jeff's Redskin's   7-7

Nuckingfutjobies   7-7

Crumbpacker's League Standings as of Week 14

Division 2

George's Gorilla's       8-6

Greer's Booty Shaker's   7-7

Lori's Little Rascal's   6-8

Missy's Madmen           5-9

Alexis' Camp Rocker's    5-9

Log Jam in Both Divisions

Here we go into week 8, and still no one team has broken out yet. Both divisions are jammed up with ties for first place, or just a one game lead.

The crucial games this week will take place in Division 2 where the Gorilla's face Gertrude Doflicky's Nimrods. The Nimrods have a three game winning streak going, while the Gorilla's are on a two game skid. The Gorilla's need a win this week, and Greer's Booty Shaker's need to lose for the Gorilla's to take first place by themselves. Should the Booty Shaker's win, and the Gorilla's lose, the Shaker's will have control of first place. Should both teams lose, they will be tied. Should both teams win, they will still be tied. Don't ask me to repeat any of that, because I'm getting mixed up myself. 

With the Nimrods being in Division 1, a win would put them at 5-3, while a loss by the Nuckingfutjobies would make them 5-3. A win by the Redskin's would make their record 5-3 which would put the division in a three way tie for first. If the Rejects win, they will be 5-3 which will make it a four way tie for first. Are you getting all this?

Here's the deal: The Gorilla's are rooting for the Rascal's to beat the Booty Shaker's, and the Rejects to beat the Madmen, while they win over the Nimrods. The Shaker's are rooting for the Nimrods to beat the Gorilla's, while they beat the Rascal's, and the Rejects beat the Madmen. The Madmen are rooting for the Nimrods to beat the Gorilla's. They would like a tie between the Rascal's, and the Shaker's, and they want a win over the Rejects. The Rascal's want the Gorilla's, the Shaker's, and the Madmen to all lose. If you can understand all that, you are in worse shape than I am, but that's our mission here at "The Espenblog TImes. To make you as crazy as the rest of us.

Now to Division 1. The Nuckingfutjobies are hoping that everyone besides themselves will lose. That's plain, and simple, and easy to understand. The Redskins are rooting for the Lion's to beat the Nuckingfutjobies, the Madmen to knock off the Rejects, the Gorilla's to stop the Nimrods, and for themselves to beat the Camp Rocker's. The Lion's want to win over the Nuckingfutjobies, and everyone else in the Division to lose. Another simple one to understand. The Rejects want to beat the Madmen, and all others in the Divsion to lose. How about that. The Nimrods want to literally destroy the Gorilla's, and make it a four game winning streak, while every one else in their division loses. Wow, I think I'm getting a brain cramp.

As you can see, this league is jammed up. There's a lot of smack talk going on between the teams. It's getting late into the season now, and these people are keyed up for sure. I hardly know what to expect next from this bunch, but you can bet your bottom dollar that there will never be a dull moment.

Break out the food, get your favorite beverages, find your most comfortable seat, prop your feet up, and get ready for some smash mouth football this weekend. These Crumbpacker People are getting more rowdy each week. The cell phones are cracking with smack talk, and will continue until the smoke clears, and the dust settles. 

Who do you the reader's pick to win this week? I, Ms Ernestine, is rooting for Jefferys' Lion's to beat the Nuckingfutjobies, and for Alexis' Camp Rocker's to knock off Jeff's Redskin's.