Madmen Score 209 Points Against Gorilla's

Missy's Madmen were just too much to handle for the Gorilla's yesterday. Coach Whitey said, "There wasn't a team in the Crumbpacker's Fantasy Football League that could have beaten that crazy bunch yesterday. The Madmen not only beat us like they owned us, but they set a new scoring record in the league. It was impossible to stop them."

The Madmen were on a 4 game skid, and in the cellar in Division 2. After their fourth straight loss last week, the owner said "We are going to win our last 3 games, and make the playoffs." Of course no one pays the owner of the Madmen much attention when she spouts off, because everyone knows she needs a high dosage of medication for her condition, which she doen't take. Between her, and Gertrude Doflicky, the owner of Nan's Nimrods, I don't know which one is the worse off.

"I'm not sure if she will make the playoffs, but if she said she will, we just let her talk," said the owner of Lori's Little Rascal's. She continued, "The other owner's just stay out of her way when she get's like this." Today she is probably flying high with her victory over the Gorilla's. I have no doubt that she will be calling me today to tell me her plans for winning the championship. I'll take her call, write down what she says, and even write the next article about her plans of becoming the 2008 Champion of the Crumbpacker's Fantasy Football League. I'll report what she has to say, even though the owner of Missy's Madmen has told me that she's going to put me, Ms Ernestine, on a stick, and roast me over a fire for Christmas.

I already have enough to worry about with Harvey's disappearance. Now I have to keep looking over my shoulder to see if that crazy lady is sneaking up behind me with a stick. I'm trying to keep my fat out of the fire. Oh well, this is Ms Ernestine saying goodbye for now, but I won't be gone for long. 

Rejects Continue Winning Streak, Rascal's Tame Lion's

The Delaware Rejects keep their winning streak alive by winning over the Madmen for their seventh straight victory. The Rejects record now stands at 8-3 with three games to be played in the regular season. It looks as if the Rejects are a shore bet to secure a playoff berth, and possibly a 1st round bye. They have squeaked out a win by the smallest of margins the last three games, but a win is a win. My hat's off to the Delaware Rejects for having such a great run this season.

Lori's Little Rascal's tamed the big, bad Lion's yesterday to stay alive for a playoff spot. I thought the Rascal's were out of the running the way they had been playing lately, but it seems as if they have received a new breath of life. The "Nut Hut" gang, lead by their owner, could surprise everyone in the Division 2 race.

With the Madmen losing to the Rejects, they now occupy the cellar all by themselves in Division 2. With their record now being 3-8, with three games to go, they have no chance to make it in. The Madmen play the Gorilla's next week so they could end up being the spoilers. We'll see what happens.

It seems as if Gertrude Doflicky's shot gun did her no good against the Redskin's this week. The tomahawks, spears, bows, and arrows, and the horses were to much for the Nimrods. Gertrude, and her team run out of ammunition while being overrun by the Redskins.

Alexis' Camp Rocker's put a stop to the Booty Shakers which will help the Gorilla's if they hold their lead over Mike's Nuckingfutjobies. Should the Gorilla's pull an upset against the high scoring Nuckingfutjobies, the Gorilla's will stand in first place all alone in the Division 2 race. That game will be decided tonight.

In all, it looks as if this might go down to the wire. Six teams will make the playoffs in the Crumbpacker's Fantasy Football League. Only two looks as if they are not going to make it thus far. Who will be the other two that get's eliminated? Time will tell. This is Ms Ernestine saying goodbye for now, but I'll be back real soon. Thanks for stopping by "The Espenblog Times." 

Top Teams Battling for Playoff Spots in Week 11

Week 11 in the Crumbpacker's Fantasy Football League has some teams in a must win situation. With only four games left in the regular season the heat is being turned up on some teams.

The Gorilla's play the Nuckingfutjobies this week, and it is a must win for the Gorilla's. Although the Gorilla's won the last outing between these two, circumstances have changed the dynamics of the Gorilla's. With the disappearance of Harvey last week, the Gorilla's seem more worried about Harvey than their game with the Nuckingfutjobies. Coach Whitey is trying to keep the team concentrating on the game at hand, but even he is having a difficult time.

Greer's Booty Shaker's have a must win game with the Redskin's this week. Although the Shaker's won last time out, the Redskin's have regrouped, and are favored to win. A loss to the Shaker's would put them in a very bad position.

We feel certain that the Rascal's, the Madmen, and the Rocker's are not going to make the playoffs this season. Six out of the ten teams will go into the playoffs begiining Week 15. If the playoffs were played today the Rejects, and the Shaker's would have a first round bye. The Nuckingfutjobies, the Nimrods, the Lion's, and the Redskin's would square off to see who would go to the second round. Things can change in a heart beat around this league so we'll see what happens this week. It's getting very tight for some teams to make the playoffs.

I, Ms Ernestine, want to thank you all for being so supportive during our time of stress. We are all very sad over the disappearance of Harvey. Please be on the lookout for him. Notify us immediately if you have any information. I can assure you that there are things developing even as I write this report. You the loyal supporter's of "The Espenblog Times" will be kept up to date as this story continues to unfold. Help us find Harvey! 

Rejects Beat Gorilla's

The Delaware Rejects have a six game winning streak going, and the Gorilla's were the latest victims in Week 10. The final score was 136-133. It was a close game, but in the end the Rejects won out making their record 7-3. The Rejects are tied for first place with Mike's Nuckingfutjobies in Division 1.

Coach Whitey made a big mistake by not playing Derrick Ward, RB for the Giants. Instead he opted to play Rice from the Ravens which really cost the Gorilla's the game. Coach Whitey apologized to the team for making such a blunder. Many in the league believe that Coach Whitey is quite upset with the disappearance of Harvey, that he just isn't thinking straight. In fact the whole team is despondent over Harvey's whereabouts, and that's understandable.

The whole league is baffled by this mystery. We here at "The Espenblog Times" are receiving thousands of emails from around the world with inquiries of what happened to Harvey. The authorities are receiving tips from every corner of the globe with Harvey sightings. The phones in this office are ringing off the hook with people, and creatures inquiring about the disappearance of Harvey, but still no Harvey!

I, Ms Ernestine, am using every resource available to me. I have contacts around the world, and I'm determined to find Harvey. I called in every marker that is owed me from the very affluent, to the most despicable. I am urging my reader's from around the world to help me find Harvey. I'm about to start throwing my weight around so I can find the little guy.

A message from me to anyone that may be holding Harvey against his will: I, Ms Ernestine, will find Harvey. If you have captured Harvey, hurt Harvey in any way, shape, or form, or disposed of Harvey, you will have to deal with me.

Sorry, I have gotten off track from football, but we are all saddened by the disappearence of Harvey. Everyone is working feverously for the return of Harvey. It just isn't the same around here without him. We need him here to stir up trouble, and keep things interesting. Besides, Pop Pop is really concerned about Harvey. He's beginning to think there has been some foul play involved in the disappearance of Harvey.

Help us out folks. If you see Harvey please let us know immediately. If you hear anything on the street of where he may be, please contact us immediately. Be on the look out for Harvey.

Strange Sounds Echoing From Locker Room

A great big piggy, wiggy good morning to you all. This is Ms Ernestine reporting to you about a very strange sound that was heard coming from the Madmen's locker room late last night. I was there, and I, along with others, not only heard those strange sounds, but I also investigated as to what was making those sounds.

I was covering the game between George's Gorilla's, and Missy's Madmen last night. Each team had one player left to play on Monday Night Football with the Gorilla's leading by only 4 points going into the game. The Madmen had Hines Ward, a WR for the Steeler's, and the Gorilla's had the Steeler's Defense. This was going to be a crucial game for both teams so I decided to cover the event myself.

The Madmen were already an unstable bunch at the beginning of the season, but it seemed with each loss they suffered as the season went on, the team really went completely over the edge. The game in week 9 was a must win for the Madmen. The owner is the top "Nut Hut" case out of the entire gang, and as I spoke to her yesterday, I could tell she was on the verge of going over the edge. You see, not one member of that team, including the owner, takes any kind of medication. I mean, with the name of your team being Missy's Madmen, what do you expect?

Things didn't turn out well for the Madmen last night. The Steeler's Defense racked up 46 points for the Gorilla's while Hines Ward only contributed 6 to the Madmen. The final score was 156 to 112. The Gorilla's stopped their three game losing streak, and stayed in a tie with the Shaker's for first place. The Madmen's loss put the team at 3-6 which could almost eliminate them from a playoff spot.

The loss to the Gorilla's triggered something in the heads of the Madmen last night. As I was leaving the Gorilla's locker room after interviewing Coach Whitey I decided to stop by the Madmen's locker room. Perhaps someone on the team would answer some questions that I had. Maybe I could speak to the owner again, and find out what went wrong with the team.

The sounds that were coming out of that room caused me to stop dead in my tracks. The tiny hairs on my big body stood on edge as I heard the most frightening sounds of my life. I literally began to shake, and when this big girl begins to shake, I make things around me shake too. The people around me were shaking from fright, and I was adding to their shaking, because I was shaking. The hair on the human's heads was standing straight up.

Finally I gathered myself, and approached the door. The terrible sounds were deafening so no one heard the door of the locker room open with a squeak. I stepped inside, and if the noise wasn't terrifying enough, the sight of total chaos threw me for a loop. The Madmen, being led by their owner were hanging upside down from the big pipes that went through the locker room. Hanging by their feet, making these terrible sounds, and screeching a the top of their lungs. Then they began to laugh hysterically while hanging up there. It was a mad laugh if there is such a thing. All the time they were hanging up there laughing, and screeching they were trying to dance. Have you ever tried to dance while you were upside down?

I then begin to piece together what this crazy bunch was doing. With all the sounds of screeching, and mad laughter I never focused in on the music they were playing. It all fell in place once I put it all together. The music was blasting out with the song, "Run Through the Jungle," and these Madmen were trying to imitate George's Gorilla's. They were scratching their pits while hanging upside down, making awful sounds, while all the time trying to be gorilla's. What?

I was so caught up in what I was seeing that I hadn't noticed that Coach Whitey, and the whole gorilla team had entered the room along with many people. The Madmen come down from the pipes, and the owner of the team began to lead them in doing the "Gorilla Shuffle." Now, I tell you that girl can dance, and so can the rest of those Madmen. They had the shuffle down to a tee, and all the time they were doing the "Gorilla Shuffle" they were doing the "Gorilla Grunt." When the real Gorilla's saw that, they joined right in with the Madmen. This was all too much for me so I quietly slipped out the door, and went home. I guess the Madmen just went over the edge last night, and they figured that if you can't beat them, then you must join them. I'm telling you that this bunch that makes up the Crumbpacker's Fantasy Football League is a wired up bunch of people.

By the way, Harvey was no where to be found. Congratulations on winning your award Harvey. You really desrved it! 

Bulletin

In order to keep our page from being to cluttered we send articles to the archive every so often. You'll find the archives on the right hand side; check it out while you are here!

Teams & Logo's from The Crumbpacker's League

Please note that two of the teams, Greer's Booty Shaker's, and the Delaware Rejects either have no logo at all as of yet, or their logo cannot be copied, and carried over to Ms Ernesetin's Report. We are trying to contact the two teams to correct this problem so we can showcase their logos.

Rejects, Nimrods Clinches Playoff Spot

Week 13 in the Crumbpacker's Fantasy Football League proved to be an exciting one. One of the best games ever was between Nan's Nimrods, and the Delaware Rejects, with the Nimrods breaking an 8 game winning streak by the Rejects. The final score was Nimrods 155, Rejects 148.

I, Ms Ernestine, knew that if anyone was going to break that winning streak, it would be done by the Nimrods. Gertrude Doflicky, the owner of the Nimrods, is an absolute no-nonsense individual that means business. Her, and that shotgun she carries around seems to have an impact on the team. The Nimrods closeout their regular season play against the Lion's which will probably go to the playoffs also.

In other league action, George's Gorilla's won a much needed game over the Rocker's. That puts the Gorilla's in first place in Division 2, and it looks af if it's going to go down to the wire for the Gorilla's. They close out their season with the Rascal's, and a win would put the Gorilla's in the playoffs. The last time these two teams squared off, the Gorilla's won by one point. With so much on the line I look for those Little Rascal's to be a handful for the Gorilla's. Coach Whitey, and the team, are dedicated to win this game for Harvey, their GM who has been missing for over a month.

The Madmen, and the Rocker's are out of the running for the playoffs, but we congratulate them on their season. It seems that things just didn't work out for either team, and they just couldn't put it altogether. The owner of the Madmen really has me worried. I believe she blames me, Ms Ernestine, for her dismal season. I have to worry about finding Harvey, keep an eye on that Gertrude Doflicky that runs a pig farm, stay up on all the current happenings, and look over my shoulder making sure the owner of the Madmen doesn't sneak up on me with her stick. She said she's going to put me on a stick and roast me over the fire for Christmas dinner. I'm becoming so stressed that I think I'm losing weight. 

We Are Looking For Harvey

Where is Harvey? Can you help us find Harvey? If you have any information of where Harvey is please tell us by leaving your ideas in the comment box. The picture above was taken a few minutes ago in Pop Pop's office, and a copy of the article is underneath the picture. Pop Pop is fired up over this situation, and Harvey better call in, or show up real soon. Not only that, he had better have a good story to tell or he could end up in a medical lab for experimental purposes. Harvey you better get back here. The pot is really boiling this time, and you are going to end up in the pot for sure.

Harvey is the Talk of the League

My guy Harvey is always getting into trouble. The picture below is the talk of the Crumpacker's Fantasy Fotball League. It seems Harvey just can't stay away from trouble, or is it trouble can't stay away from Harvey? They are attracted to each other like a magnet to metal.

I don't know what I would do if Harvey stayed out of trouble for one whole week. We've grown accustomed to the fact that Harvey is going to get into trouble whether he wants to or not. In all of my travels, I have never seen any one creature get into the trouble that Harvey get's into.

Upsets in Week 7

Things are changing in The Crumbpacker's Fantasy Football League. Four of the five winning teams demolished their opponents this week. The only close game was between the Rejects, and the Lion's with the Rejects coming out on top by the score of 140-137.

The rest of the loser's were tossed around like rag dolls in a play room. The Shaker's beat the Gorilla's by 31 points, Mike's Nuckingfutjobies destroyed the Camp Rocker's by the score of 148-106, the Madmen went berserk ove the Rascal's 122-82, and Gertrude Doflicky, with her Nimrods shot down the Redskin's by the score of 111-74.

Lori's Little Rascal's, and George's Gorilla's are on a two game losing streak, and neither one is looking to good going into next week. Greer's Booty Shaker's have put on a surge these last few weeks, and are now tied for first place with the Gorilla's in Division 2.

Mike's Nuckingfutjobies are standing alone in first place over in Division 1, but Gertrude Doflicky's Nimrods are coming on strong. Her team hasn't lost since she leveled her shotgun at them in the locker room three weeks ago. She must have struck some fear in their hearts, because they have been moving up in the standings ever since.

Four of the five teams are going to the woodshed this morning. There will be a whole lot shaking going on in the old shed today. The Gorilla's, and the Rascal's are making their second trip to the shed in as many weeks. I sure am glad I'm not in their shoes.

PopPop ran a poll in the "Espenblog" section with the question being: Do You Play Fantasy Football? The results ended looking like this: 70% do play, 10% don't play, and 20% don't care to play.

I would bet that the 70% that plays this fantasy football are just about as crazy as this bunch in the Crumpacker's League.

I, Ms Ernestine, being the sports nut that I am, hope you all are having fun this season. Remember, it's just a game. Don't have a 19th nervous breakdown over it. You could end up like Harvey, the GM of the Gorilla's, and you wouldn't want that to happen. Relax, take a deep breath, and enjoy the season.

Thanks for stopping by, and my new section will be going up in the next day or two. The votes are in, and my new section will be entitled, "Ms Ernestine Rants." Now I can let my hair down, and share so many other things with you all. My friend Fluffy who writes, "Fluff's Corner" will be writing some articles with me. She's such a talented writer, and we have a kindred spirit.

Ms Ernestine Has Sit Down With Nimrod's Owner

Ms Ernestine bids you all a good morning, and do I have some juicy morsels to throw at you today. For weeks now I have been trying to get an interview with that strange owner of Nan's Nimrod's, and yesterday I finally got lucky.

I have been asking every one around here about this person, but they have all, including Fluffy, been reluctant to give up any information. The writer's, and the staff would talk about everything else, but when it came to her they clammed up. I thought that was rather strange so I took it upon myself to pay her a visit, and what a visit it was.

Now, you all need to keep in mind that I have traveled the world over. I have covered events, and happenings that sometimes put my piggy self in danger. I have lived on the edge, and it's the sometime danger that gets my blood to pumping. I've been shot at by pouchers, I've had to literally fight my way out of some situations, (I'm a big girl, and I know how to handle myself quite well) I was captured by cannibals in a far away land, but when they found out I wasn't human they turned me loose, and I've stood face to face with some of the most meanest creatures, and human's on this planet, but what I experienced yesterday afternoon far outmatched any of those events.

I found her place out in the middle of nowhere. An old clapboard, run down house with no electricity, no running water, and no other human beings around. I found her place by sniffing around. I would know that smell anywhere, and I saw her long before she realized that I was in the area. Now I knew why no one would give up any information about her to me. She run a pig farm, and a big one at that.

Sadness filled my heart at the sight of so many relatives living like pigs. I saw the boiling pots of water, hams hanging on hooks that were drying out, sausages being smoked, and bacon being wrapped up to be put into the cooling cellar. My eyes welled up with tears, but I had to continue on. I had to put my own feelings to the side, and complete my mission no matter how much it may hurt.

It was as if she had eyes in the back of her head. All a sudden she wheeled around, and leveled that shotgun of her's right at me. A lumped formed in my throat, and I broke out into a sweat. With a very gruff voice she said, "What are you doing snooping around here?" I was startled not only by the fact that she surprised me, but by the way she looked at me. It was if she pictured me in her mind as a big ham hanging from one of those hooks.

I gathered myself quickly, and told her I wanted to interview her about her team. She took a long time to answer, and when she did her reply sent shivers all the way down to the end of my tail. She said, "If you don't write nice things about me, I will make sure you end up on someone's dinner table." I told her I would only write the facts, nothing more, nothing less.

As we walked to the house I gave my relatives a little wink, and a smile. Although I was dressed up, that's not a good term to use is it? Well anyhow, they knew I was one of them.

Once inside we got down to business. Do you know that her name is Gertrude? Yep, Gertrude Doflicky. That's her real name for sure.

I felt uncomfortable while we were talking, because she insisted that she had to fry up some sausage, and bacon in her skillet. Oh boy, just what I needed to see, and hear. She seemed to take great pleasure in doing that in front of me. I tell you, this woman is out there somewhere. In fact she is beyond somewhere. She lives in a world where no one else would want to go. It was her eyes that drove me nuts. The way she looked at that frying sausage, and bacon, and would then look at me. She wanted me in that skillet in the worse way, and she was willing to kill for it.

Outside of getting her name, I never did get to ask any questions about her team. I figured I better get out of there while the getting was good. She made my skin crawl by the way she cut up that bacon, and threw it into the skillet.

Maybe someday I can get the answers about her team when there are other people around, if you know what I mean.

Hey, subscribe to this here publication. Just hit the subscribe button at the top of the page. We want you to be as crazy as we are here at "The Espenblog Times." Until next time, this is Ms Ernestine saying, Cya Later.

Log Jam Still in Place After Week 8

Now we have a three way tie for first place in both Division 1, and Division 2. After 8 weeks the log jam is still in place. Week 9 should loosen things up though, because all teams will be playing in their divsions. We'll have to wait to see what happens.

Wow, did you see the final score of that Reject, Madmen game. Rejects 170, Madmen 100. Oh boy! That had to hurt, and it left a mark too. The Madmen's record is now 3-5.

How about those Camp Rocker's? They took Jeff'e Redskin's apart in week 8. Threw them under the bus, run over them, backed over them, run over them agin, and drove away. Ms Ernestine tips her hat to the Rocker's for a job well done.

Lori's Little Rascal's skunked the Shakers, 150-104. The Lion's squeaked one out over the Nuckingfutjobies by the score of 135-125, and the Nimrods put one on the Gorilla's with the score being 138-115. I bet Harvey is fit to be tied. Oh, I shouldn't have used that word tied when it comes to Harvey.

Speaking of Harvey, didn't our in house artist do a fantastic job with his drawing of Harvey upside down on the crossbar? I'll just bet you that Harvey is going to have something to say about that drawing being all over the place on "The Espenblog Times."

Well everyone, thanks for stopping by. Don't forget that the "Ms Ernestine Rants" section will be starting in a few days. I'll have some more friends to introduce to you then. For now this is Ms Ernestine saying, "I'll go now, but I won't be gone long."

Madmen Getting Trounced

Week 8 has not been good for the Madmen to say the least. Missy's Madmen are taking a thumping going into Monday night's game. There is a 98 point difference between the Madmen, and the Rejects at the end of Sunday's games. The current score is Madmen 72, the Rejects 170. The Madmen have only one player left to play Monday night, and that's a WR for the Colts. It looks like the Madmen are toast again.

I contacted the owner of Missy's Madmen last night to get a feel of how she was coping with the hugh point difference. Boy, did I ever get an earful from that "Nut Case." She had nothing good to say about the Rejects, and she was ready to fire her whole team. She sure was in a foul mood.

I tried to calm her down with soothing words, but that only made things worse. She told me that if she could get a hold of me she would hang me on a hook, and slice big slabs of bacon off my butt. I'm glad we are separated by 600 miles, because I believed her. I think she needs to take some kind of medication to calm herself down.

It looks like another trip to the woodshed for the Madmen again this week. Last week when they came out of the shed they all had splinters from being drug across the floor. It looks like it will be more of the same this week. Have a nice trip to the shed Missy.

This article has been posted on Oct 27th. As of this posting the Rejects are safe, and sound. Well, as sound as they possibly can be, if you get my drift.

UPDATE: The final score was Rejects 170, Madmen 100. That's going to leave a mark!

Where is Harvey?

Me Too Piggy wants you all to help find Harvey. Below is a poll with some idea's of where Harvey may be. Me Too Piggy is looking for leads of Harvey's whereabouts. This poll may give him the lead he's looking for. Harvey would definitly stand out in a crowd unless he is disquised, or being held without his consent. If you see Harvey, please contact us at once. Thank you very much.

Me Too Piggy.