Something to Think About

I received this story in my email last night, and would like to pass it on to the reader's of "The Espenblog Times." I don't know who wrote the story, but I was reminded once again that the true hero's of this country are the men, and women serving in our Armed Forces.

The Sack Lunches

I put my carry-on in the luggage compartment and sat down in my assigned seat.
It was going to be a long flight. "I'm glad I have a good book to read. Perhaps I will get a short nap," I thought.
Just before take-off, a line of soldiers came down the aisle and filled all the vacant seats, totally surrounding me. I
decided to start a conversation. "Where are you headed?" I asked the soldier seated nearest to  me.
"Chicago - to Great Lakes Base. We'll be there for two weeks for special training,
and then we're being deployed to Iraq " After flying for about an hour, an announcement was made that sack lunches were available for five dollars. It  would be several hours before we reached Chicago, and I quickly decided a lunch would help pass the time.

As I reached for my wallet, I overheard a soldier ask  his buddy if he planned to buy lunch. "No, that seems like a lot of money for just a sack lunch. Probably wouldn't be worth five bucks.   I'll wait till we get to Chicago .  

His friend agreed. I looked around at the other soldiers. None were buying lunch. I walked to the back of the plane and handed the flight attendant a fifty dollar bill.  "Take a lunch to all those soldiers."  She grabbed my arms and squeezed tightly. Her eyes wet with tears, she thanked me. "My son was a soldier in Iraq; it's almost like you are doing it for him."

Picking up ten sacks, she headed up the aisle to where the soldiers were seated. She stopped at my seat and asked, "Which do you like best - beef or chicken?" "Chicken," I replied, wondering why she asked.
She  turned and went to the front of plane, returning a minute later with a dinner plate from first class.  
"This is your thanks." After we finished eating, I went again to the back of the plane, heading for the rest room.
A man stopped me. "I saw what you did.  I want to be part of it. Here, take this." He handed me twenty-five dollars.
Soon after I returned to my seat, I saw the Flight Captain coming down the aisle, looking at the aisle numbers as he walked, I hoped he was not looking for me, but noticed he was looking at the numbers only on my side of the plane.

When he got to my row he stopped, smiled, held out his hand, an said, "I want to shake your hand."
Quickly unfastening my seat belt I stood and took the Captain's hand. With a booming voice he said, "I was a soldier and I was a  military pilot.  Once, someone bought me a lunch. It was an act of  kindness I never forgot." I was embarrassed when applause was heard from all of the passengers.

Later I walked to the front of the plane so I could stretch my legs. A man who was seated about six rows in front of me reached out his hand, wanting to shake mine. He left another twenty-five dollars in my palm.
 
When we landed in Chicago I gathered my belongings and started to deplane.  Waiting just inside the airplane door was a man who stopped me, put something in my shirt pocket, turned, and walked away without saying a word. Another twenty-five dollars!

Soon entering the terminal, I saw the soldiers gathering for their trip to the base. I walked over to them and handed them seventy-five dollars.  "It will take you some time to reach the base.  It will be about time for a sandwich. God Bless You."

Ten young men left that flight feeling the love and respect of their fellow travelers. As I walked briskly to my car, I  whispered a prayer for their safe return.  These soldiers were giving their all for our country.  I could only give them a couple of meals. It seemed so little...

A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life wrote a blank check  made payable to "The United States of
America " for an amount of "up to and including my life." That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it." 

"The Espenblog Times" Hires PI to Find Harvey

"The Espenblog Times" has hired a PI to find Harvey the GM of George's Gorilla's, and a writer for this publication. Harvey has been missing since last week, and Pop Pop has decided to take matters into his own hands in finding Harvey.

"Harvey is very important to us here at "The Espenblog Times," and we will spare no expense in finding him," said Pop Pop. "We have hired the best PI in the business, and every rock will be turned over to find Harvey. Nosy is known the world over for his detective work, and although some of his tactics have been questioned, he always, without fail, get's the job done."

Nosy has a sidekick that works with him known as Frankie the Mouse. Frankie the Mouse can get into places that others can't, and for years they have worked some of the toughest cases known to man. Not only that, but Nosy knows Harvey personally. He knows his habits, his hangouts, and the people he hangs out with. "Harvey has not always hung out with the most reputable people or creatures, but I know them all, and where they are," said Nosy. "I have gotten Harvey out of jams in the past, and I'll get him out of this one too."

No one has a clue to where Harvey is, or what happened to Him, but we are going to let Nosy, and Frankie the Mouse do their thing so Harvey can come home. This investigation may get rough, but don't let the looks of Nosy fool you. Highly skilled in the martial arts, Nosy has demolished the bestof the best, and his sidekick is no exception. These two together make Rambo look like a sissy. We are convinced they will accomplish their mission wherever it may take them. These two will find Harvey, and bring him home safe, and sound. 

When Nosy puts his nose to the ground no one can escape, and when Frankie the Mouse begins to prowl around you are in for a bad time if you did wrong. These two are "The Bomb," and they will get to the bottom of this mystery. Let's all give these two our support.

Oh Hallelujah

After reading several articles written by other writer's here on PNN about their experiences with voice response systems I decided to throw my hat into the ring. I wrote this article on another site back in July of 2007.

From a very addictive internet user that has been offline for three days I can only say, "Oh Halleujah"!   It all started this past Sunday morning around 6 a.m. when I tried to access the internet from my computer after being in Detroit, Michigan for nine days. Much to my surprise I could not, I repeat, could not gain access.   Immediately my trembling hand reached for the telephone to call Comcast. I felt as if I was making a 911 call in the middle of the night under the most trying conditions. My mouth was dry, I was sweating, and as stated, my hands were trembling.

It seemed as if the phone on the other end was ringing for an eternity before I received an answer upon which time a robot was speaking to me. I didn't need a cold, heartless, none feeling robot right now. I needed a caring, compassionate, understanding human being to speak to. One that could soothe my troubled soul, that could speak words of encouragement, one that that could fix my problem, and my broken heart. Instead I get a robot that demands I press the right buttons, and until I do I cannot proceed. Now my emotions erupt into rage , but I realize that I must get ahold of myself so I can proceed to a human. The robots had me boxed in so I had to submit to their will, but not before I left them know exactly what I thought of them. I called them names, I called their mother names, and included every family member I could think of.  Mean, nasty, very descriptive names that left no doubt that I was on the verge of a meltdown, and I wasn't going to be responsible for what I would do if I could get my hands on them robots. To make matters worse, I had to speak to the robots before I could go any further.

The robot was a woman with a pleasant voice, but behind that pleasant sounding voice was a cold, calculating machine with no feelings whatsoever towards a broken hearted, frustrated human. I'll never forget the sound of that female voice that made me answer questions. "O.K., let me see if I can help you", she said. "Answer these questions by saying yes or no". "If you can't gain access to the internet, say, I can't access the internet". I replied by firing off a few descriptive words of what I thought her mother looked like, and ended by telling her that if I could access the internet I wouldn't be listening to her humiliating, and abusing me upon which she said, "I didn't understand your answer, let's try again"! I could sense her laughing at me,  and I knew down deep inside she understood exactly what I had said, but she just didn't care. So reluctantly I did exactly what she said which brought her to yet another statement, and then another question. I answered her questions one by one until finally she said, "Do you need to speak to a technician"? I almost blurted out another long line of what I wanted to do to her, but I maintained myself and answered yes. She then told me to push 2, and I would be directed to a technician. Now I was getting somewhere, at least I thought I was! I heard the ringing sound, and just knew a real, live, caring human was going to answer, and save me from these robots.

Not to be, another robot with a male voice was demanding that I listen to him. Demanding that I unplug the router box, wait a full minute, plug it back in, and I'll probably be up on line again. Once again I lost it! Now I was on my feet, arms reaching out to make contact with his neck, my foot going to his knee cap, my brain was locked in to the destroy robot mode when I realized he was far away, and unreachable. When I came to my senses, I could hear him laughing at me knowing he was not in danger, and a deranged human on the other end of the line was spazzing out once again!  He was still laughing when I heard the voice of a human on the other end asking how he could help me. It sounded so distant at first, but as he asked me again I was able to gather myself, and with a trembling voice I began to tell this human my problem. Finally someone who cared, and could get me up and running again, so I thought!  

He, the human, couldn't help me. It would require a technician to come to my house to fix the problem. At first I was delighted when the human said, "I'll schedule a Tech right now". "Great", I replied as I wiped the tears from my eyes, and began to feel better already, whereas the human told me the Tech would come to my house on Tuesday, between the hours of  2 and 5 p.m. What! I couldn't believe what I was hearing so I asked the human to repeat what he had just said. When he repeated it I became enraged once again  !

Three days without the internet, what are you talking about? Are you crazy? Doesn't this human understand that I have a business on line? Even the business isn't important, it's the fact that I can't access the internet for three days. Don't you understand that I'm an online junkie, and without access to the internet I may go totally insane, and do you want to be responsible for that? I then changed tactics by sobbing uncontrollably, by begging this human to please send help today, not Tuesday. He apoligized for not being able to help at that instant, but the only available time slot was on Tuesday between 2 and 5 p.m.

I changed tactics again by threatening to take my business to Verizon. Really, what was I going to gain on a Sunday morning with no access to the internet. I realized immediately that I was blowing smoke up my own butt , and this human had heard this one before so that wasn't going to work either so I slowly submitted to the fact that it would be Tuesday between the hours of 2 and 5 p.m. before I could gain access to the internet.

For those three days I had nervous twitches, and bouts of depression. I was irritable, periods of complete breakdown where upon I would cry uncontrollably, couldn't sleep, didn't want to eat, and had no energy at all, but most of all, I kept hearing the voices of the robots. I couldn't get them out of my head. Those tormenting, sarcastic voices just kept bouncing around in my head until I thought I would go crazy. I had nightmares, and cold sweats from those voices, and nothing that I did could make them go away until Tuesday between the hours of 2 and 5 p.m. came.

At 5:15 p.m. yesterday the Comcast trucks arrived. I had weathered the storm, and now these humans would give me access to the internet. I was battered, and bruised,  but I survived. Two trucks, two humans, and a new cable installed had me up,and back on line again, "Oh Hallelujah"!!!!  Now that it's over I feel much better, but I just can't deal with robots!

Hey, while you are here please take the time to vote for a title to Ms Ernestine's new section. You'll find it at the top of the page in the right hand corner. All votes counts here, and there is no hanging chads.

Please leave your comments, and thanks for stopping by. This is PopPop, and I approve this message.

The Espenblog Times Sounds Off

The words written herein are solely the words, and opinions of this simple minded man. In just 25 days this country will be marching to the polling booths to cast a vote in the most crucial election ever held in this country. We have passed the days where we stand at a crossroad, we have arrived at a day where we teeter on the edge of devastation 

It would be impossible to count the words that have been spoken, and written about this election. Day after day, week after week, and month after month the writing, and the talking goes on, and on. Cable news, talk shows, both on TV, and radio, editorials, magazine articles, blogs, speeches, and any other way of communicating is being used by everyone, and anyone. All of the above is the American way in each, and every election, but things have changed over the years.

"We the people," and I am a people,(that's not good grammer, but you get the point) have fallen asleep at the switch. We have been asleep for a very long time. For decades now we have made ourselves very comfortable, set back, propped our feet up, and dosed off while all the time bad things were taking shape in our republic. All this turmoil didn't happen over night. As we slept it slowly, ever so slowly begin to weave itself into the fiber of our political system. A state of apathy begin to take hold of "We the people."

Oh yes, there has always been corrupt politicians. Politicians that have always had their best interest at heart, and liars, and cheats, and the list goes on, but for the most part, the people righted the ship back on course. We begin to tolerate actions, and deeds that at one time was totally unacceptable to the American People.

We stopped thinking for ourselves, rolled over, and allowed these politicians that we elected pat us to sleep. Responsibilies that were once the responsibilies of individuals were handed off to the politicians we elected. We allowed the special interest groups to rise up, and influence the politicians we elected into office. We have allowed these political figures whom we elected into office to decide for us what was good for us. We have allowed these political hacks to pass laws in the middle of the night while we curled up, and slept. Now we stand on the edge of devastation listening to politicians that we elected tell us we need change, and they are the ones to bring about that change.

We the people have allowed these clowns that we have elected, parade their dog, and pony shows out in front of us insulting what little bit of intelligence we have left. This party says this, and that party says that, and blah, blah, blah. Billions of dollars have been spent on these campaigns from the presidential, to congress, to the states, and down to the local government. We have allowed the bridle to be removed from the horse, and the horse has been allowed to run wild by the politicians we have elected.

Somewhere back up the road, while we slept, the politicains that we the people elected started selling parts of the farm until now the farm has been sold off. These politicians that we elected over the years has cut deals, bribed, and extorted their way through the political landscape while we the people slept.

There is so much more that can be said, but I'll close with this. Do I vote? You bet I do. Am I angry? Very much so. I am an American that loves this country. I, like millions of others have served my country, and are concerned for it's well being. I become angry when I see our culture bow at the feet of celebrities, pay more attention to, and more money to athletes than to the the brave men, and women serving our country who lay their lives on the line each, and everyday around this world to keep us safe. When our culture knows more about reality shows, rock stars, and Hollywood than the crisis this nation faces, I become angry.

Let's shake ourselves, sound the alarm, renew our hearts, and minds so that "We the people" can once again stand up, take control, and remind these politicians that they work for us, and if we put you there, we can remove you from there. God Bless America!

Another Change Made at "The Espenblog Times"

A very important meeting was held last evening here at "The Espenblog Times" headquarters, and at the end of this meeting it was decided upon to once again expand "The Espenblog Times."

Attending the meeting along with myself was Fluff, who write's Fluff's Corner, and Ms Ernestine, who write's Ms Ernestine Reports. I invited Harvey, but he informed me that, and I quote, "I can't get a move on so I won't be there." In order to fully understand what Harvey was saying you need to read his article found in "From the Desk of Harvey, "The General." He didn't sound like he was in too good of shape, but I didn't press the issue.

It was agreed upon by Fluff, Ms Ernestine, and myself that Ms Ernestine needs more space. We decided that Ms Ernestine needs a lot of room, so we're going to expand.

We all agreed that with her talent she needs more than just one section. Ms Ernestine has so much to offer this publication that we are going to be adding another section just for her where she will be able to extend herself, and not be cramped up, or feel penned in. Another section where she can really express herself, and allow our reader's to see for themselves what has made her so famous.

Things are happening around here at such a breakneck speed that it's hard to keep up with everything, and may I add that the feud between two writer's has now grown to three.

As the ringleader of this here gang I take full responsibility for this publication, but I myself love what is going on. I'm just sitting back, listening, watching, and hoping that it continues on. I'll even stir the pot every once in a while just to keep things going. I don't like dull moments, old run of the mill happenings, or mediocre news. I want Fluff, Ms Ernestine, and Harvey to not only write their columns, but I want them to write with a passion. They must air themselves out, go deep into the recesses of their soul, and give our reader's everything they have. I want them to allow the reader's to hear their heartbeat, and thus far they have been doing exactly that.

Thanks for stopping by "The Espenblog Times," and don't forget we need your comments. Allow us, and others to view your comments. Become a part of this gang, and we'll make you as crazy as we are.

Look for Ms Ernestin's new section coming soon. We just need a Title for her new section. Do you have any suggestions? Leave them in your comments if you do so come on, pitch in and offer up your suggestions.

Important Notice

In order to keep our page from being to cluttered we move our aticles to the Archive after being posted for several days. The Archive is located right below this notice. There you will find all articles that have been written on "The Espenblog Times."

Oops! I Just Woke Up!

Oh boy! This is like being somewhere with the guys, and they all decide to go somewhere else, but they didn't tell me they were leaving. It's like I was so pre-occupied with doing something else that when I looked around I found myself all alone. It happened here on PNN yesterday morning.

I read an article that was written by a man called bear something or another. I've tried to find his article this morning, but couldn't find it. Probably because I'm in a state of panic right now. My hands are trembling as I write this, and I feel as if I'm about to be run over by a big truck. His article started out by saying that he found the PNN site while surfing the internet. He mentioned that the site was a for women to share with women. That caused me to set up straight, and break out into a cold sweat. I did read his entire article, and all the comments, but by this time I was a real basket case.

You see, I've been here at PNN for almost a year, but didn't write much until somewhere in mid September of 08. That's when my other friends began to write with me. You know, Fluff, Ms Ernestine, Harvey, and the whole gang that makes up this crazy publication. Our pages are where fantasy, and reality are intertwined. You have to decide which is which, because I sure can't. It seems as if I was so involved with "The Espenblog Times" that I didn't realize things were changing all around me, until yesterday morning.

Being in the construction business, I'm used to change. Of course it's not the best business to be in right now. My business has changed dramatically over the past year. My life has changed, everything is constantly changing, but I sure missed this one.

Here's what I do. I get up every morning at 3:00 a.m. Make the coffee, fire up the computer, and into cyberspace I go. I most always end up at PNN, which is a great place, I might add. I've written on MySpace....no fun, written on Yahoo 360 when it was fun, been on some others, but found this PNN is the greatest place for me. Anyhow, I sign in to PNN, go to the home page to see the latest post, the latest photo's, see who is here, and read some articles. Then I go back to my page, and usually post something. Day after day, month after month I've been doing this. I get my notices through my email when the folks that I'm subscribed to post their articles. Yesterday  fell on me like a ton of bricks.

I begin to look around. I went to the log in page, and there at the top I read, "The Global Water Cooler for Women." What! How long has that been there? I looked to see who had just arrived. Yep, all women, but me. Now, I have noticed that before, but I just didn't pay it any mind. I just figured the men would be checking in later. Next I started hitting every category across the top. Yep, the articles were written by you ladies, and a fine job you all do. Talk about sweating bullets! I wrestled with the thought all day long. What am I supposed to do now? A change took place all around me, and I didn't even know it. I knew nothing else to do, but write this article.

Mom Mom, and I will have been married 41 years in July. Having raised 4 children, and having 8 grandchildren has taught me an awful lot about certain things. I know when to say something, and when to be silent. Mom Mom has taught me well. I still get into trouble sometimes, but for the most part I have learned my lessons well. I read the articles you ladies post just about everyday, and they are very interesting. I just don't comment!

Here's the conclusion I have come to. If you don't throw me out, I'll just stay over here in my own corner, and keep publishing "The Espenblog Times." I post most all of my articles in the "etc" catagory. I'll just stay tucked away in the "etc" corner, and mind my own business, but I'll continue to be a big fan of PNN. You ladies keep firing off those articles, and perhaps some other guys will take the time to read them. I feel it would do them some good. You all have a lot to contribute. Who knows, maybe they will learn their lessons as well as I did. If by chance you need to come over to the lighter side of things now, and then, please drop into the "The Espenblog Times."

Thanks for your time ladies. I feel better now!

Harvey Now in Williamsburg, PA.

Shortly after Harvey arrived at my cousin's house late Saturday night, she sent me the following email:

Dear Pop Pop,
Harvey just got in and he is having fun getting to know the gang. He seemed interested in some ponds we have around here. Don't know why but I'm sure we'll find out soon enough. Don't worry about him I'm sure he'll be fine. He's already in his room setting up his laptop.
By the way. He sure is a little fella. You don't think the bigger animals will give him problems, do you? Oh, well, I'm sure he'll adjust.
Catch Ya Later,
Betty Jo Boondocker

"The Espenblog Times" has sent Harvey to Williamsburg, Pa to cover life in the country. Not only that, but Williamsburg, Pa is where Granny hails from. It should be an interesting journey as Harvey reports on his experiences in the country, and follows the family history from as far back as the mid 1800's. This should keep Harvey very busy, but not out of trouble. I'm sure he will find a way to get into trouble as he always does.

Betty Jo Boondocker, my cousin, is excited to have Harvey as her quest. We'll see how excited she is when he gets into trouble, but she said she is prepared for all that. I don't know if anyone can be prepared for all that.

I have spoken to Harvey several times on the phone in the last few days. He was to begin writing on Monday, but after hearing what happened to Travis the Chimp, Harvey decided to wait until sometime today to began. He said he needed some time to get his emotions in check, but I'm sure he will be alright. He has already sent me some pictures of the area, and of course he was in some of them.

Just a word of advise to my cousin, Betty Jo Boondocker. Be careful what you say, and do around Harvey. He will use anything, and everything to write a story.

Well, I'll let Harvey take over from here. He'll be posting pictures of the family, the animals, and the scenery from up there in Williamsburg, Pa. We are all placing bets here at "The Espenblog Times" as to when Harvey will get himself into trouble. I'll let you all know who wins the money.  

We've posted a survey over there in Harvey's Section as to how long before he gets into trouble. While you are there please take the time to do the survey, it won't hurt!

How Things Used to Be

My cousin sent the following article to me the other day, and since I have been struck with a dose of nostalgia, I would like to share it with you all. Things sure have changed in my lifetime, and all the changes have not been for the better!

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.



They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking





As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.



Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.





We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.



We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because,
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!



We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms.......
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment! Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

If YOU are one of them...CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good





Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

For those that prefer to think that God is not watching over us...go ahead and delete this.
For the rest of us...pass this on. .
While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were..

A Big Wecome to Nick,

It is with great pleasure that I introduce to our reader's, Nick, and Mick, who will be heading up their own section in "The Espenblog Times." Their new section should be up and running within the next 24 hours.

I met these two one day when I was doing nothing. They were just standing around, so I struck up a conversation. This was a perfect example of that old saying, "Two head's are better than one." These two seemed inseparable, like two peas in a pod, two cookies in a pack, or like two batteries in a flashlight. I found them amusing, but at the same time very intelligent. At least that's the way I found them to be.

Somewhere into the conversation I mentioned that I was looking for some more writer's for "The Espenblog Times." That struck a cord with these two fellows, and their eyes lit up when I mentioned the name of the publication. "Why, we have been reading "The Espenblog Times" for the past several months now," they both stated at the same time. Nick said that they have always wanted to contribute to a publication, but no one ever asked them to. In fact no one even took the time to speak to them. People would come by, and look at them, but no one ever spoke directly to them.

I guess everyone thought that these two fellows just stood around, and did nothing. "Well, from now on things are going to be different," I told them. I continued on, "People are going to hear your voices the world over, and they will soon realize just how intelligent you two really are." 

Then my cell phone rang, and I excused myself to take the call. It was Mom Mom. She asked the usual questions, where was I, what was I doing, etc? I explained that I run into two very intelligent fellow's who were going to write for us at "The Espenblog Times." As always she paused when she heard that, and then she said, "Are these people real?" What a question to ask someone. I told her that these two were very real, and very intelligent, and very friendly just as all my friends were. With that she hung up, and I continued on with Nick, and Mick. You all just wait, you will see how good these guys are.

When their new section opens up, come in with an open mind, and let your imagination go. Our goal here at "The Espenblog Times" is to make you as crazy as the rest of us, and remember, we are well qualified to do just that! Everyone here is real, so let's give Nick, and Mick our support when their new section opens up within the next 24 hours. 

Verdict In, Judge Hands Down Sentence

After being delayed for a week, the trial of Harvey's kidnapper's finally got under way yesterday in an undisclosed place. The entire trial lasted just over an hour which included witnesses, deliberation, and sentencing by Judge Loon.

The prosecutor, Katherine Knucklebee, called a total of four witnesses to the stand including Harvey himself. When asked who kidnapped him, Harvey simply pointed to the defendants sitting in the courtroom. The kidnapper's just stared at Harvey with hatred in their eyes.

Nosy the Bloodhound, Frankie the Mouse, and Hugo Mayo, or is it Mayo Hugo, the truck driver, each testified against the defendants. Harvey's entire story will be told by various members of the staff here at "The Espenblog Times" in the coming days.

In no time at all Judge Loon handed the trial over to the jury of 7 kangaroo's. No one left the courtroom while the jury was deliberating. The defendant's were guarded by a group of gorilla's that had been appointed by the "Animals United in the Kingdom." In less than five minutes the jury returned with a verdict. All the defendants were found guilty on all charges, and Judge Loon sentenced them immediately.

I've never seen a trial of this sort, but I was impressed by the way it was run. The defendant's stood in front of Judge Loon with their heads hanging low. They all knew they were toast, and that the harshest of penalties was about to be handed down. It was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop when all of a sudden Judge Loon bellowed out, "You are hereby exiled to the "Land of the Hyena's, and Vulture's." One Eye, the leader of the "Eata Banana Gang" passed out upon hearing those words. The entire gang stood trembling, and some of them even fell to the floor crying. They know what happens to those who are exiled to that awful place. This was the most dreaded sentence that could be handed down.

"Brutus the Butcher," and "Victor the Pig" didn't look so good either. The monkey's knew what was in that terrible land, whereas Brutus, and Victor was about to find out. Those hyena's, and vulture's are going to have a ball with the Butcher, and the pig. They are soon to find out that there is no escape from the forbidden land, and no one, or no thing ever returns.

The gorilla's led them from the courtroom where they would be transported to their place of excile. With that, Judge Loon thanked the jury, and dismissed them, and everyone filed out. It was over. The animal kingdom had spoken, justice had been served, and all received the message. Even Harvey was somewhat subdued during the whole process. He didn't have much to say on the return trip home. He was staring off into space most of the time, but I could tell he was in deep thought about something. Oh well, maybe he'll feel better after he see his therapist on Monday.

Kidnapper Ring Indicted

The "Animals United in the Kingdom" Grand Jury has handed down indictments in the kidnapping of Harvey, the GM of George's Gorilla's Fantasy Football Team, and a writer for "The Espenblog Times." The indictments include all participating perpetrator's, and if convicted, carries a stiff penalty to be carried out immediately.

Special Prosecutor, Katherine Knucklebee, will present evidence before the court, in a trial that will soon be getting underway. Nosy the Bloodhound, and Herman, "Frankie the Mouse" will be called to the witness stand since they were the lead investigator's of this crime. Hugo Mayo, the truck driver that took Harvey's vehicle to the lake to be disposed of will be a key witness also. Hugo has not been indicted in this case. Ms Knucklebee said, "We in the animal kingdom will not tolerate such behavior. The kingdom has always, and will continue to hand out stiff sentences to those character's that will not adhere to the Laws of the Animal Kingdom." Don't let Ms Knucklebee's good looks fool you. She is the most toughest prosecutor in the land.

Harvey was kidnapped from his hut on October 31st, 2008, and held captive while arrangements were being made to sell him to an animal experimental lab. When things became to hot for the criminals they begin making preparations to feed Harvey to the crocodiles. Nosy, and "Frankie the Mouse" rescued Harvey just in time.

Judge Loon will be presiding over the trial, and he has a reputation for running a no-nonsense courtroom. Loon will be quick to drop the gavel whenever, and wherever it's needed, even if it's on someone's head. The laws in the Animal Kingdom are so much different than the human's court of law. Trials are held quickly, and if convicted the judge hands down the sentence immediately, and the punishment begins.

Victor "The Pig"  Flatface, the "Eata Banana Gang, lead by old "One Eye" himself, and Brutus the Buther have all been named in the indictment. A jury of 7 kangaroo,s will hear the evidence against those named. The trial should begin in a few days, and is predicted to last one hour. I will be covering this trial, and will report on all testimony provided, although it doesn't seem like it will take that much time. I will report on the details of how Harvey was kidnapped, etc. after the trial concludes. Below is a picture of the gang, and Brutus the Butcher. 

Harvey Has No Luck

If Harvey, the GM of George's Gorilla's Fantasy Football Team, had any luck, he would have no luck at all. It seems as if Harvey is always getting into some kind of trouble, or causing some commotion in one way or another. Back on Oct 31st when Harvey went missing at the hands of some very bad characters, I thought I had seen the last of my little buddy, but due to the hard work of Nosy the Bloodhound, and "Frankie the Mouse" we were able to rescue Harvey just in time.

When I received word from Nosy the Bloodhound that Harvey had been found, and rescued I was elated. Thanks to the special carrier provided to me from "Animal's United in the Kingdom," I was able to fly to an undisclosed location to meet with Nosy. Upon my arrival I met with Nosy, and sure enough, there was Harvey. I was so happy to see him that I did two backflips, and the "Gorilla Shuffle" while doing the "Gorilla Grunt." After I got a hold of myself, I placed Harvey's glasses on his head. His glasses were left behind in his hut when he was taken away.

Harvey was estatic to see me. I mean he could really see me now with his glasses on his head. He looked a little worse for wear, but other than that he seemed fine. I suggested that we call an ambulance so Harvey could be taken to the local hospital for a checkup before we flew back home. The ambulance arrived, and in went Harvey on the gourney. The doors were closed, and off he went. Nosy, and I followed behind in Nosy's car.

While following the ambulance Nosy gave me all the details of how Harvey was found, and how he was rescued just in time. Just as I breathed a sigh of relief, I saw something happening that I couldn't believe. You know, your eyes see it, but it just isn't registering in your brain. The ambulance doors swung open, and out come Harvey strapped to the gourney. All this was happening while the ambulance was traveling at 35 MPH. I will never forget the look on Harvey's face. His eyes were as big as saucers, and he had this dumbfounded look on his face like, "I know this is happening, but yet I can't believe it's really happening."

Nosy swerved his vehicle so as not to hit Harvey. I watched as we passed each other going in opposite directions. Nosy slammed on his brakes as I turned to see what would happen to Harvey. Luckily no other vehicles were on the road when Harvey went by us. If he could have stayed on the road, he would have been alright, but as Harvey's luck would have it, he went off the road, and nothing but bad took place from that point on.

Off the road, down the ditch, up out of the ditch, rolled over 3 times, went end over end, and into the trees. It seemed as if it was all taking place in slow motion. By this time we were out of the vehicle running to Harvey. While all this was taking place, Harvey was grunting, screaming, crying, and saying some things I can't repeat. When Harvey finally came to a stop, which I might add, was sudden like, he was dangling from the side of the gourney, but his straps held, and kept him from being tossed to God knows where.

He wasn't going to ride that gourney anymore. It was totaled, and Harvey wasn't in too good of shape either. By now the ambulance driver realized what had happened, and returned to the scene. Harvey was a mess for sure, and we thought that he had died. We got him back into the ambulance, and this time I rode with him to the hospital.

Harvey had some broken bones, a head injury, (he always had one of those) bumps, bruises, and a tree limb had to be removed from a certain part of his body, but other than that, he's just fine. The amazing thing about the crash is that Harvey never lost his glasses, and they didn't even break. Can you imagine that?

Well anyway, Harvey will be on the sidelines this weekend when the Gorilla's face off with the Shaker's in round 2 of the playoffs. As soon as his fingers heal up, he'll be back on his keyboard writing all about his experience, and causing trouble once again. It's good to have the old boy back again, but he has no luck whatsoever.

For some strange reason I had my camera in my hand when Harvey flew out the doors of the ambulance. I just clicked a shot, and this is what I got. 

Local Police Dismiss the Disappearance of Harvey

Our local police deparment has dismissed the disappearance of Harvey. Local officials are saying, "Harvey has apparently driven away on his own accord, and doesn't want to be found. We have  no reason to believe that there has been a crime committed here, and until we do, there is no need to investigate this any further." That was the quote given to "The Espenblog Times" just moments ago by a police spokesman.

Everyone, both in the animal kingdom, and human's alike, know that something terrible has happened to Harvey, but for some strange reason the local authorities have dismissed the disappearance of Harvey. All the clues say otherwise, and leads are pouring into our office from around the world. With or without the locals we will get to the bottom of this mystery. Perhaps this local police department has something to hide. "The Espenblog Times" will be watching every move that they make, or every move they don't make. There's something fishy going on here.

Harvey's computer is missing, but yet Harvey's glasses have been left behind. Now Harvey is a world class typist, and his hands fly across the keyboard, but he couldn't use his computer without his glasses. Nosy the Bloodhound has checked with Harvey's Internet provider, and there has been no activity since the night he disappeared. When he signed off that evening he never signed back on again. That's not like Harvey. He is internet addicted, and for Harvey to be off the internet for more than a few hours is unheard of. 

Another item missing from Harvey's hut is his cellphone. Harvey never goes anywhere without it. His cellphone is constantly ringing, and when it's not ringing, he's making calls. His cellphone provider said the last call that come in was the evening of Oct. 31st. After that call there was no more incoming, and no more outgoing. 

The local police said there was no sign of a struggle at Harvey's hut so no crime was committed. That only leads us to believe that Harvey knew the perpetrator. We believe Harvey's computer was taken so no one could find any damaging information on his hard drive. Nosy does have a copy of all Harvey's cellphone activiites for the past month, and they are yielding some vital information.

The local police were informed by this newspaper that Harvey wouldn't, and couldn't just drive away for two reasons. Number 1; If harvey did just go away into hiding, and the truth was known, harvey would be fired as GM of George's Gorilla's. Harvey loved his position, plus the fact he loved all the attention he received whether good or bad, from being the GM. Harvey is a wheeler-dealer, and this position fit him to a T. He loved making deals with the other owner's, and took great pride in finding good player's for the Gorilla's. Number 2; if Harvey just went away he would lose his job as a writer for "The Espenblog Times." He wouldn't, and couldn't do that for he loved his writing position. That's where he stirred up the trouble. He was able to instigate, and irritate others by what he wrote. He wouldn't jeopardize that for any reason.

In conclusion, this local police department is being eyed with suspicion by everyone around. Why are they being so quick to sweep this under the rug? We are determined to get to the bottom of this. Are they buying time for someone? Are they covering up for someone? We will find the answers to these, and many more questions. These people are skating on thin ice!

Life is So Short

I'm usually writing about silly happenings, and funny things, but I do have a more serious side to me, believe it or not. With all the bad news circulating around us each, and every day I like to stay on the lighter side of things, but this is a serious subject.

I received a phone call last Friday night informing me that my 84 year old mother was in the hospital having fallen in the kitchen. I phoned the hospital, and spoke to her, telling her that I'd be there soon. I left here very early Saturday morning, and drove the 4 1/2 hour trip to central Pennsylvania.

For being 84, soon to be 85 next month, Vern (I call her that, because her name is Verna) still drives, gets around by herself quite well, and has lots of friends. She's only 4' 8" tall now, where she used to be a big 4' 11", but she keeps getting shorter. I call her "The Big V!"

Her falls have become more consistent lately, and I'm afraid that very soon she won't be able to drive, and do all the things she used to do. She banged up her knee, and her ankle so she can't walk without a walker, and someone right beside her. In fact she's in a wheelchair right now, and does therapy two times a day.

I said all that to say this, life is so short. I know, it seems like yesterday that I myself was young, but how the time flies by. After doing a tour and a half in Viet Nam I believed I was invincible, but as time went by I too realized that life is so very short.

I watched other old folks there in the hospital, many that were in bad shape, and I couldn't help but think that life isn't to fair. This is what you get when you get old, a broken down body, some have no one to rally around them, or to lend a helping hand. There isn't anything good about getting old.

If you are young, live your life to the fullest. I don't mean that you go do drugs, stay drunk, or act stupid. I mean enjoy yourself in a good way, cherish your parents, love your children, be kind to others, and do the very best you can while you still have your youth, and vitality. The years will go by quickly, and before you know it you'll wonder where all those years went. Remember this one thing, the only thing any of us leaves behind is memories. Work on leaving only good memories behind!

I took this picture of Vern before I left on Sunday with my cell phone. The blurriness is my fault, and by the way, she's a big Gorilla's fan.

Bulletin

I just finished reading, "My Funny Dad, Harry" written by Karen Zemek who also writes here at PNN. With so much doubt, fear, and confusion that surrounds us, it was refreshing to read such an avid account about a daughter's love, and devotion to a loving father. I found the book to be funny, interesting, inspiring, and a must read for every one that has lost a loved one. The writing of this book came from deep inside of Karen's heart. As you read her book you can hear the beating of her heart. I strongly recommend you read this book.

Visit her site at http://karen.pnn.com

Harvey's Still Arrogant, and Conceited

I see Harvey just wrote his first article since coming home. He is a sight for sore eyes, but he's the same arrogant, conceited monkey that he was before he was taken. I just have to set the record straight before Harvey has everyone believing that he is some sort of hero. I will give him credit for turning his pencil upside down, and using it to type his article.

First of all, Harvey didn't have everything, and everyone under control. He was only moments away from being hung upside down from a hugh pipe that was hanging several feet above an interior pool infested with crocs. It seems as if his captors had all they wanted from Harvey, and was going to eliminate him once, and for all. He had become a liability to them, and they were going to have some fun feeding him to the crocs. No one would have ever known what happened to Harvey if Nosy the Bloodhound, and Herman, (known as "Frankie the Mouse), hadn't burst in on the scene, and saved his raggedy butt.

The second point is that "the dummies" that loaded Harvey on the gourney, and put him into the ambulance most certainly locked his gourney down. Harvey was back there acting cool, and he himself reached down, and unlocked the gourney. Don't ask me how he did it, but the ambulance attendant was watching Harvey from the front seat, and saw him do it. You know that Monkey's can do some niffy things, and that was not one of Harvey's better moves. He did this while the ambulance was beginning to climb a hill, and out he came like a bullet. When we got to him after he flew off the road he was screaming, and crying. He looked like he was just run through one of those limb shredder's, and speaking about limbs, he looked awful funny with that limb sticking in a certain part of his anatomy. When they put him on another gourney they put him on his belly. Does that tell you anything about where that limb was?

As far as Fluffy, and Ms Ernestine, I'll let those two girls handle that one. I'm sure the feud is going to continue now that Harvey fired the first shot since coming home. What I'm saying is that Harvey is the same arrogant, conceited monkey that he was before he went missing. That's our Harvey; mischievious, arrogant, and filled with conceit through, and through. We would expect nothing else from Harvey. I sure am glad that he's home again.

Thanks for stopping by "The Espenblog Times." We live in a world that is interwined with fantasy, and reality. We here at "The Espenblog Times" can't tell the difference. We want to make you as crazy as the rest of us, and we are well qualified to do it.

Clues Turn Up at Harvey's Hut

Nosy, the world famous PI, and his sidekick "Frankie the Mouse" have conducted an onsite search of Harvey's hut, and has turned up some important clues. Clues that could give us some answers as to what happened to Harvey. Harvey disappeared a week ago, and until now we had nothing to go on. The authorities that have been investigating Harvey's disappearance are treating the incident as if Harvey simply went away on his own, and will return when he is good, and ready.

I don't believe that theory anymore. I am worried sick that something awful has happened to Harvey. Even if he was pulling a prank on us here at "The Espenblog Times," he would have tipped his hand by now. There is something more sinister going on, and we are going to get to the bottom of this.

Nosy, and "Frankie the Mouse" discovered several things at Harvey's hut. Number 1: Harvey left his glasses. Number 2: Harvey left his favorite sneakers, and Number 3: Harvey's vehicle is gone. All three of these factors are tied together, and they explained these factors to me.

Harvey can't see to walk across the room without his glasses, muchless drive his car. It's literally impossible for Harvey to drive without his glasses. He can't get out of his hammock at night unless he puts his glasses on first. He tried it one night, and stumbled into the wall knocking himself down. By then he was so disoriented that he crawled to what he thought was his nightstand, and rolled down the steps. He stayed there until someone came to see him the next morning, and helped him find his glasses. Harvey's glasses were on his table along with the items he was working on.

Harvey never drives his car without wearing his favorite sneakers. Never, never, never, and I mean never! Harvey has to have his glasses to drive, and never drives without wearing his favorite sneakers. If Harvey goes in his car you can always rest assured that he will have his favorite sneakers on. The two go together like oreo cookies, and milk. I mean, I don't believe Harvey could even drive his car without his favorite sneakers. Even if he had his glasses, which he didn't, but if he did, he still couldn't, or wouldn't drive without his favorite sneakers.

Harvey's fancy car is missing, which by the way, Harvey isn't driving. No glasses, no favorite sneakers, no Harvey driving his own automobile equals "foul play." Nosy, and "Frankie the Mouse" are really good. 

Harvey Receives Award

Harvey, the GM of George's Gorilla's Fantasy Football Team has received "The 2008 Cry Baby of the Year Award" from the Crumbpacker's Fantasy Football League.

This award is usually given to a recipient at the close of the season, but due to Harvey's whinning, and complaining during the first half of the season, the League Commissioner, along with the owner's, and player's, have decided that no one else will even come close to winning the award.

This is the first year in the history of the Crumbpacker's Fantasy Football League that this award was given in the middle of the season. The following statement released to the press by the commissioner's office yesterday afternoon said, "Although this award has never been given to anyone until the end of the season, we find it appropriate to honor Harvey in mid season. We felt that Harvey's whining, and complaining has no competition whatsoever this year. Harvey wins this award easily, and we all wish this big cry baby the very best in the coming months, and years."

I tried to reach Harvey for a comment, but he was unavailable. I'm sure he will have something to say about this situation in his column. Ms Ernestine, and Fluff went to Harvey's house, but he didn't answer the door. I don't think he is too excited about his award. We will keep you posted with Harvey's reaction to this breaking news. Let it up to Harvey, he keeps things going around here.